Dreams can scoop our minds and bodies up into the clouds to rest and wonder. Dreams can take us places in our minds that we desperately want to go and may never have the opportunity to visit. Dreams can propel us into action like a rocket headed toward the moon.
Dreams can also be dashed upon the rocks of an ocean shore, washed away, never to come into fruition. Dreams can soar us high above the clouds and low to the depths of hopelessness when left unfulfilled.
We are allowed to grieve the loss of our hopes and dreams.
A family member posed a thought-provoking question the other day about grief, “Can we embrace grief as a time to seek comfort and embrace how life has changed?”
I think the easy answer is, “Yes, of course we can.” However, I’ve sat with many over the years around grief and grief is not to be rushed ahead. Everyone has their own pace, and each person needs time to think through and talk through their loss in whatever form of expression they prefer.
We need time to mourn a desire that will never be fulfilled in the way we imagine.
What I adore about the question posed is the beauty of connection with self and others when grieving. The idea of utilizing your grief as a conduit to connect with others evokes a warmth worth exploring. Having a support system that is welcoming and open to whatever you might be grieving is like a nest that holds your pain as you incubate in a space of healing and growth. A space that you will eventually like the nest, outgrow; which is where the second part of the quote comes in.
As your wings grow and strengthen in this safe haven of warmth and comfort, you’ll gain strength to leave the nest of loss and become more aware of how life has changed for you…how you have grown and changed as well as your world. It doesn’t mean that we may not still feel the occasional pang of loss, but when you are ready to leave the nest it will be because you want to spread your wings and fly…not because an other is nudging you out of the nest.
An organic process that engages the same energy with which we imagined the original dream, will propel us toward a new dream…if and when we’re ready.