Why Can't I Change? #fear-part-one #fear-serves-a-purpose
Updated: Aug 2, 2020
Do you ever wonder why making a change can feel so difficult?
Often when we struggle with change there is fear(s) at the root. Your fear is working for you in some way; otherwise you wouldn’t have developed it in the first place.
Some of the fears that may be "protecting" you from having to make a change:
- Fear of failure
- Fear of how life will be different
- Fear of leaving the unfamiliar
- Fear of rejection
- Fear of “going without” the person / thing we want to hold onto
- Fear of accepting full responsibility for the creating the life we want
- Fear of not knowing
Here are some of the sneaky things we tell ourselves to be convinced that change is impossible:
- Things would be different if I had this..., that... or the other thing.
- It’s because of so and so that I can’t…
- Once this happens, then I’ll be able to…
So what do we do with all of this?
Step 1: Get curious about your fear.
- How is it serving you?
- What does the fearful place you go to look like in your mind: a box, a pit, a hole, quicksand, chains, the dark (Turn the flashlight of your mind on, and have a look around)?
- How do you feel when you are in this space?
- What does it do to bring comfort?
- How does it keep you safe?
- What is it keeping you safe from?
You don’t have to leave the space or change anything about it until you are ready.
Remember, your fear is working for you in some way; otherwise you wouldn’t have developed it in the first place. The question is…do you still need it?
Once you have a better understanding about how your fear is actually working for you, it will inform your next steps.