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Buried Alive #sexualfantasy

What does one do with a sexual fantasy that feels like a threat to their very existence?

The idea may be, If I allow this spark to ignite a thought, it just might start a burn atop a mountain...downward, into a quiet valley, hopping a ravine and moving steadily toward unsuspecting homes, leaving nothing but a trail of smoldering ashes.

The reality is, we fantasize about all kinds of things in life: travel, marriage, divorce, having children, not having children, wealth, cars, beauty, revenge, even acts of service. The truth is, we can fantasize for years about some of these things and never attain or act on them. But for some reason fantasizing about sex is not only taboo, some might even say a threat to ethical and moral character.

Let’s spend a moment thinking about why we are fantasizing in the first place.

It’s likely that there is something we want. I can hear the dripping sarcasm, “Thanks Captain Obvious.” However, the what of the want may not be as obvious as we imagine.

Sex can encompass varying desires that don’t all have to end with orgasm. Sex can be about a desire for deep intimacy, connection, care, security, surrender, a sense of power and control.

If we quickly move to stamp out the initial spark of sexual fantasy, we may miss an opportunity to engage with self at a much deeper level. Sexual fantasy can be a conduit for healing wounds that have long been buried.

When we attempt to ignore a sexual fantasy, it can be like burying something that is very much alive. It may seem out of the way, but in actuality, it is alive and well beneath the surface, pulsing, blood pumping with an active heartbeat.

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